Lyrics

Explore full song lyrics and connect with the meaning behind every line. A simple place to read, reflect, and enjoy the words that shape the music.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVE

It was a cool night on the bad side of Eden
The sky was still brand new
And it was sweet to be with Eve,
Even tho last week she had a little incident
With You-Know-Who –
Jhoomba shaba laba that’s okay
She’s my baby – everybody makes mistakes
Hey – ey – ! Jhoomba shaba laba – everybody makes mistakes
So why not celebrate?

Merry Christmas to the animals
I’ve been a little busy and I haven’t named them all
Merry Christmas to the critters in the trees
But most of all, everybody, Merry Christmas – Eve.

We live in a tree house 40 feet high
Bundled up together as the snow is blowing by
It sure gets cold when you disobey
The roof is leaking as our eucalyptus sways
Jhoomba shaba laba that’s okay
We’re both new here – everybody makes mistakes
Hey. Hey! Hey – e – hey – ! So why not just say –

Merry Christmas to the animals
I’ve been a little busy and I haven’t named them all
Merry Christmas to the critters in the trees
But most of all, everybody, Merry Christmas – Eve

Mike King – Vocals & Guitars
Ralph Gilmore – Drums
Steve Grams – Bass
Bill Cashman – Synthesizer, Percussion, & Backing Vocals

THE DONNER PARTY

When the reindeer heard about the party they said
We gotta go, gotta giddy-it-up and go, and they hopped down from the roof.
Soon all eight reindeer were dressed to the nines
And Vixen had a diamond on the bottom of each and every hoof
Woombda woomda wackada ding dong
Zimba wicky dicky everybody sang a reindeer song
And the elves all played along

Our ol’ friend Blitzen
Had a totally bad case of Santa Clausterphobia
And he chatted a bit and then he made a beeline to the bar
And Dasher got all hopped up on nobody knows what
And he stole a sleigh and crashed into the manger in a neighbor’s yard
Woombda woomda wackada ding dong
Zimba wicky dicky everybody sang a reindeer song
And the elves all sang along

Oh – wee oh! Come on along
To the Donner home in the arctic
Oh – wee oh! Come on along and bring a friend
To the Donner party,
And ya know, if you don’t know how to fly
It’s still okay – you’re all invited anyway.

Alicia, the buffalo with alopecia
Was looking real good
wearing nothing but a belly button ring and a K-Mart lampshade
And a gay pride of lions came strolling in
From some sort of fancy San Francisco parade
Woombda woomda wackada ding dong
Zimba wicky dicky everybody sang a reindeer song
And the elves all sang along

Oh – wee oh! Come on along
To the Donner home in the arctic
Oh – wee oh! Come on along and bring a friend
To the Donner party, and ya know,
If you don’t know how to fly
It’s still okay – you’re all invited anyway.

Mike King – Vocals, Guitars, & Mandolins
Ralph Gilmore – Drums
Mike Levy – Bass
Bill Cashman – Hand drums, Percussion, & Synthesizer
Mark Holdaway – Kalimba
Marco Rosano – Saxophones
Rick (Bobby Valentine) McIver, BC, Mike – Reindeer Vocals
Loralita (The Wind Chime Mahatma) – Wind Chimes
Peckerton Mambazo – Breathtaking South African Vocals

THE CHRISTMAS SONG

Mike King – Bass & Guitars
Bill Cashman – Drums, Percussion, & Synthesizers

LET IT GO! LET IT GO! LET IT GO!

When the world seems small and spiteful
And you find yourself exciteful
Don’t let it take away your mo –
Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

When you’ve decked the halls with your well-intended labors
And now you want to deck your friends and neighbors
There’s no need to act out like a schmo
Stuff your pants with snow
And let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

When all those tiny tots, fruitcakes, and dreadful Christmas baskets
Make you long for the serenity of a casket
Why not just sit back and have a cup of Joe
And let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

The Great Sir Peckerton Cheswick – Vocals, Arrangement, & much-improved Lyrics:
Amy V, BC, Barb Cardinal – Backing Vocals
Lord Usvolk – Additional Inspiration
Mike King – Bass & Guitars
Bill Cashman – Drums, Percussion, & Synthesizers

MY BLUE MUSE

I’m Santa’s little brother and I live up here in an igloo
I used to make music but I haven’t really been in the mood
I was Santa’s little butt-boy workin’ on his holiday plan
When my muse appeared – and we started up a band

There’s one-nut Willie on the skins and an elf named Chewy
He gets a little funny when he doesn’t take his meds
And Clubfoot Ray – he’s a reindeer wanted for murder
Cause every time he plays, he knocks ’em dead
And the muse says – La de da, ooh – ooh
La de dah, ah ahhhhh-

She hit me with a song, a simple serenade
Muse: Merry Christmas, I’ll be everywhere you want me
And I’ll be watchin’ out for you
The night wind played along and blew me away –
Muse: Merry Christmas
It’s gonna be an upbeat, backbeat Christmas with the caribou
And my Sweet Blue Muse

When Santa found out about the muse and the bluesy music
He chuckled to himself and began to dance
He’s an old school cat with the wacky red hat and the work boots
But he knows how to help a brother out
And that’s the truth –

La de da, ooh – ooh
La de dah, ah ahhhhh-

Chorus

Mike King – Vocals, Guitars, Reindeer, & Elves
Bill Cashman – Drums & Percussion
Steve Grams – Bass, additional Elves, & Reindeer
Daniel “Sly” Slipetsky – Electric Piano
Rebecca Carlson – The Blue Muse
Gary Love – Saxophone

SHE COULD TURN THE RAIN INTO SNOW

It’s a rainy Christmas Eve in my Appalachian cabin
I don’t know what is worse – what has or hasn’t happened
And the wind outside ain’t all that seems to blow, ya know?
Cause I miss her – she could turn the rain into snow

Another broken heart – another self-help intervention
I’m gonna sublimate and meditate to ease my inner tension
And then I’ll turn my wounds to wisdom as my self-awareness grows
But I miss her – she could turn the rain into snow

Oooh, what a good-bye. It took us half the evening
Oooh, what a good-bye. Too bad she wrecked it all by leaving
And then I cried myself to sleep beneath my faux mistletoe
She could’ve have turned my teardrops into snow.

Bridge –
Come back – baby come back
Come back – it was all my fault!
Say what? What’s that sound? I heard a –
Knock knock knock! at my Appalachian cabin
Knock knock knock !
Who’s there?
It’s me – a rappa tappa tappin’
And when I look outside, the world is sugar white everywhere –
And my baby’s on the front porch, with all those crazy snowflakes in her hair –

I just dropped by to wish you Merry Christmas
I just dropped by, just thought I’d drop by
I just dropped by to wish you Merry Christmas
I just dropped by, just thought I’d drop by

Mike King – Vocals, Guitars
Bill Cashman – Drums & Percussion
Steve Grams – Bass
Daniel “Sly” Slipetsky – Piano
Rebecca Carlson – Girlfriend Vocals
Marco Rosano – Saxophones
Bill Poutinen – String Arrangement
Loralita (The Wind Chime Mahatma) – Wind Chimes

WHITE CHRISTMAS • THE GIRL FROM ARIZONA

I gotta girl – she’s hotter than you’ll ever know
She’s the reason we’ve got no snow
Shoo- bop! Hoopie-ooby ooh bop

I gotta girl – a girl, a girl from Arizona
Her sweet lovin’ heats the place like an oven
Shoo- bop! Hoopie-ooby ooh bop
Ooh- bop! Hoopie-ooby ooh bop
Scat –
I’m dreaming of a ba-dah
Ba-dabba de dooby dah –

I’ve gotta girl – she’s hotter than Joan of Arc
She’s the reason it never gets cold
Even when it gets dark
Shoo- bop! Hoopie-ooby ooh bop
I gotta girl, a girl from Arizona

Mike King – Vocals, Guitars, & Mandolin
Bill Cashman – Drums & Percussion
Steve Grams – Bass
Daniel “Sly” Slipetsky – Piano
Marco Rosano – Saxophones

THE NIGHT SHE PUT THE NO INTO NOEL

She was my dusty rose
She’d always been my secret sauce
Soft as a drift of snow — – in her Santa Claus pajamas
My gifts were wrapped in a colorful stack and she acted
As if I still mattered
Now if love is a teacher
She went ahead and rang the bell
The night my baby
Put the no, no, no, no, no – into Noel

I heard the wind strum a chord
A ghost of coldness rose up from the floor
They say the devil was an angel who got greedy and demanded something more
It’s easy to spill out the truth when you no longer care
She said she found somebody better
Now if love is like heaven
She pushed me and I fell
The night my baby
Put the no, no, no, no, no – into Noel

My dreams formed a circle
And they kinda slid on down the drain
I walked her to her car – she smelled just a bit like a candy cane
My dreams faded away into nothin’
But a holly-jolly migraine
Now if love is a fighter
You’d have to say she rang my bell
The night my baby
Put the no, no, no, no, no – into Noel

I’m beginning to think that she loved the illusion of love
More than she ever loved me
Now if love is a fire – she used to bring me to a boil
I wouldn’t have missed it for the world
That brief love spell
Before she put the no, no, no, no, no – into Noel

Mike King – Vocals & Guitars
Ralph Gilmore – Drums
Steve Grams – Bass
Bill Cashman – Percussion & Backing Vocals
Lamont Arthur – Keyboards & Backing Vocals
Amo Chip – Saxophone

THE DONNER AFTER-PARTY

Mike King – Vocals, Guitars, Mandolins, Reindeer, & Elves
Ralph Gilmore – Drums
Mike Levy – Bass
BC – Hand Drums, Percussion, & Synthesizer
Mark Holdaway – Kalimba
Marco Rosano – Saxophones
Rick (Bobby Valentine) McIver, BC – Reindeer Vocals
Loralita (The Wind Chime Mahatma) – Wind Chimes
Peckerton Mambazo – Phenomenal South African Vocals

I'M GONNA DRINK UNTIL IT FEELS LIKE CHRISTMAS

I’m gonna drink
Drink until it feels like Christmas
I’m gonna think
Think about the way it used to be
Yuletide means a high tide
Of teardrops by the tree
I’m in prison – –
since she set me free.

I wish I’d met her sooner – I’d be over her by now
Instead of layin’ in the fetal position every day
My heart is a clown car of broken dreams tonight
And now she’s ho ho ho’in’
In the new, old fashioned way
I’m gonna drink
Drink until it feels like Christmas – etc.

She was like cat – An awful lot like an ocelot
And she never really gave – but man could she receive
But now she’s gone – and I’m face down on my front lawn
Like reindeer poop
On Christmas Eve

I’m gonna drink
Drink until it feels like Christmas – etc

BRIDGE
I don’t wanna rum cake puddin’
Or egg nog by the cup
Cause they don’t get me bombed –
Bombed enough.

She voted with her feet
And now I’m feelin’ pretty obsolete
Like Hamburger Helper – without any meat.
I’m gonna drink
Drink until it feels like Christmas – etc.

Mike King – Vocals & Guitars
Bill Cashman – Drums & Percussion
Steve Grams – Bass
Daniel “Sly” Slipetsky – Piano
Amo Chip – Saxophone
Amy V, BC, Robin Wall, Loralita – Additional Vocals

WHY SHOULD I SETTLE FOR LESS?

All that light
The teardrops and potential
And the saltiness I tasted on her neck
She shines in the night like moonfire in my chest
Why should I – why should I settle for less

Results are what you hope for
Answers are what you pray for
But a consequence is what you usually get
Her eyes in the night were deep as Karmic debt
Why should I – why should I settle for less

Dreams have wings
To lift you in the night
But there ain’t nothin’ there to catch you if you fall
And I fear someday I might fall to my death
Why should I – why should I settle for less
Every time we fall in love

We light a sacred fire
And that crazy flame may wane
But it never dies

When it’s all said and done, love is just a whisper
That pushes all the stars from east to west
And even now, I feel it on my flesh
Why should I – why should I settle for less

I LOVE WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

Woody lived near the mine
When he kissed me on the neck
I let him take what he could find
I don’t remember what he said but he changed my mind

Woody had that special way
When the heart does all the talking
There ain’t much else to say
We both left school, we left Southwest PA

Ain’t got no reason left to love him
Aint got no reason left to pine – cause it’s over
But I love what could have been

Woody liked to keep me home
I let him do my thinking
though I know he never done his own
But it sure got quiet when the love was all done growin’

Them images sure burn bright
They fill my eyes and make me cry
Drop by drop we watched that well run dry

Chorus

By 1955
Didn’t know if he was happy
Didn’t know if he was still alive
A part of me was smarter
And a part of me had died

WELCOME TO THE USA

He had no work so he disappeared
He took a long-shot gamble and he overcame fear
And fear is freedom’s rival

He made his break in the midnight cold
He had to deal with the dogs and the border patrol
And the spark inside himself and its survival

Oooh – welcome to the USA
To the golden grain and the purple of the mountains

With his brother’s compass and a childhood dream
He ran all morning through desert ravines
And his only fuel was accumulated anger

It isn’t easy being kind in the world
He had to steal some money from a teenage girl
I guess the view from the cross
Is different than the view from the manger

Chorus

There’s a halo over San Diego
Shining like Bethlehem
Good news, glad tidings, freedom
Freedom’s writings are written in the sand

So here’s what I see and here’s what I know
The brighter the light
The darker the shadow

Chorus

Why must I work like a slave for my freedom
Why must I work like a slave to be free

I miss the warm nights
When I slept with my brothers and sisters
And the moonlight
That slid through the door to be with us

Am I just a pair of arms, am I just a pair of legs
Am I just another pair of hands
Working – working so hard in my new land

WHAT CRIME AM I PAYING FOR NOW?

You won’t change your mind
You only change your mood
All you ever gave me was a virus
And a lousy attitude

You ain’t got no shame
Ain’t it a shame you’re not ashamed
You haven’t got the wisdom to be different
Or the guts to change

I don’t know the what for
The why, the who or the how
But tell me what crime, Lord, am I paying for now

You, you ain’t no genius
Ain’t got no high IQ
You remember all the arguments and anger
But you forget about the truth

I gotta keep my head up, chin up, shoulders back
I’m haulin’ my heart around
‘Cause even lousy fighters get respected
If they don’t fall down

Chorus

When I’m dead and I am gone
And my heart don’t beat any more
I’m gonna glide through your window on a dark night
Sorta even up the score

You won’t know the what for
The why, the who or the when
But it is this crime, baby – you’ll be paying for then

GOIN’ TO GUATEMALA

New land everywhere
So we took it from the natives who were living there
And Love Thy Neighbor never had a prayer

Hey, ain’t it bold
To build a fence around the land we stole
Hey, I gotta go
Where life is kinda different and slow

I’m going to Chi- Chi- Chichicastenango
I’m gonna to Guatemala, la
I was an architect
But I said what the heck it’s time to go
To Guatemala, la, la, la

God is good and God is wise
And triangles think God has three sides
Politicians use him like a gun
Hey, more and more
When we don’t know what to do we go to war
Hey, shine a light
Would we rather be rich than right

Chorus

Those same lies sound like facts when repeated
and repeated, and repeated, outta whack
And those without a conscience
Tend to benefit from that

Hey, don’t it get old
When the truth cannot compete with what we’re told
Hey, I gotta go
Where life is kinda different and slow

CHOPPING BLOCK

Moans sound the same
Whether you are making love
Or whether you are in pain
And I been moanin’ lately – but that’s alright
It keeps me nice and busy in the night
Nice and busy at night

From a cute little hottie – to a lot of hot air
You forgot how to try, you forgot how to care
But that’s all right sugar, we all make mistakes
We all leave behind some damage
Some kind of damage in our wake

It’s time to pack, walk, another true love
To the chopping block

Like a hefty ballerina movin’ much too fast
Our love had all the moves but none of the class
And it’s a sorry lookin’ dance
When the music fades away
Like the slow, slow unravel
Of a lonely strand of DNA

Chorus

A flesh wound feels the same
Whether from a battle
Or whether from a game
And we’ve all been wounded lately, but that’s okay
The lamentation keeps my heart in shape

RIDIN' THROUGH THE PINES

The sun made love to a wave
While the sky warmed her fingers in the blaze
Did that water boil away
Or did it get wetter in the yellow haze
Oooh – rock’n roll rhythms intertwine
Oooh – ridin’ through the pines with my baby
On my mind

The curve of earth and sky lies hiding in the night
Until the lightning makes the two of them collide
The reconnection of the fire
The heart and the voltage of the broken wires
Oooh – headlights slide between the pines
Oooh – ridin’ through the night with my baby
On my mind

Ain’t nothin’ else I need
Ain’t nothin’ else I need

Kamikaze raindrops hit the windshield and expand
Feeling somewhat more than they had planned
Hearts tumble in the wind
Prayin’ that they tumblin’ to their twin
Oooh – lightning flickers from behind
Oooh – ridin’ through the pines with my baby
On my mind

Lucky, lucky me

JAZZ HEART, PURPLE HEART

I was fresh outta basic, out on patrol
Marchin’ with the others, tryin’ to do what I was told
And we was kickin’ down doors
Kickin’, kickin thru the sand
Fightin’ in a war I didn’t really understand
And I say yeah, yeah yeah

Say don’t our star-spangled wrangles tear us apart

We was dead on our feet, we was dirty and tired
When rounds start clippin’ thru the concertina wire
The last thing I remember we was tryin’ to regroup
Shootin’ at the silhouettes of enemy troops
Sayin’ yeah, yeah yeah

I miss my old life, my beautiful wife
And sunny days that just kept getting better
Hey, I don’t wanna gripe, I don’t wanna complain
But I miss my world when it was still together

Say don’t our star-spangled wrangles tear us apart
But we gotta do what we gotta do

The moon up above and the stars in their courses
Were shinin’ down upon all the Coalition Forces
Me, I was flyin’ in a C-17
Strapped to a litter on the way to Walter Reed
Sayin’ yeah, yeah yeah

I miss my old life, my beautiful wife
And sunny days that kept on getting better
Hey, I don’t wanna gripe, I don’t wanna complain
But there’s a couple little things I can’t remember
I can’t remember
And I cannot forget

Say don’t our star-spangled wrangles tear us apart
And I’m blue from the bottom
Blue from the bottom
Blue from the bottom of my purple heart

But we gotta do what we gotta do

I LOVE THAT BOY

I was riding in the car
My parents were in the front
I wanna cry – when I think of all the good they’ve done
But sometimes I hear them moan
When they fall in bed together
Why should I be alone
I love that boy

I heard some voices in the front seat
Say to look at this or that
My imagination cleaned up its act
And jumped back like an acrobat
We were alone again
I was thinking ’bout the muscles
And the veins in his hand

Oooh – I love that boy, it’s right

I guess I’m never ever gonna stop thinking
About me and him that way
Sometimes I wanna laugh out loud
Sometimes I want to get down on my knees and pray
Sometimes I don’t know why
I follow what I’m feeling
And it tears me up inside

Chorus

Every now and then I get angry
And I don’t know why
And every now and then, I cry

Autumn all around me, the end of another year
The oak trees stand straight up, puncture the sky
And feel no shame or fear
Look at them go to seed, they bring new life
And make the mountains bleed

BEVERLY TREMBLESTEMS - THE SWINGIN’ VEGETARIAN

Hey! Beverly Tremblestems
A swingin’ vegetarian
The toast of western Gettysburg, it’s true

Hey! Beverly Tremblestems
Dancing with them extra limbs
Is easy for mosquitoes in the groove

Hey! Beverly Tremblestems
Swingin’ with her spider friend
And a centipede who played some wicked blues

Hey! Beverly Tremblestems
Irascible contrarian
Watchin’ all them soldiers pay their dues

Hey! Beverly Tremblestems
Hey Beverly, I understand you’re in a book…

FULL MOON OVER THE RAZOR WIRE

Full moon over the razor wire
It’s all I got in common with the world out there
It’s been a 20 year bid
That I thought would never ever end
But I got 18 days and a wake up
Before I’m on the road again

I’ve seen stupid dominate the yard
Tattooed dudes busy bringin’ in the goodies
With a compromised guard
My cup runneth under and I hide myself
Beneath my headphones
And I got 18 days and a wake up – before I go home

And when I hit the gate and I hit the open road
I’m gonna hit the ground running
Singin’ Hallelujah baby! Hallelujah baby! Baby I’m free!
And I can almost hear
The sound of a new day coming
When I can play my old guitar the way I used to
And wash away the orange – with the blues
It’s better not to wonder, better not to care
I saw a joker with a receding Mohawk
Tuning up a chomo in a wheelchair
I’d really like to help when they persecute the weak
But I got 18 days and a wake up
I’d kinda like to keep my teeth

Some of us are crazy, baby, some of us are just insane
Some are suicidal and the rest of us are
Circling the drain

I used to miss my woman on the street
I probably got PTS from her set a’ double D’s
Ah, but she moved on to a guy who used to be a friend
But I’ll get even by succeeding
Then I‘ll top it off by fallin’ in love again

Eighteen days – and a wake-up
Eighteen days – and I’m gonna go home

MY DIFFICULT GIRL

She didn’t know she was pretty
Pretty darn good at getting everybody all riled up
My difficult girl

She was a puzzle with a broken piece within
And she wasn’t very good at being happy
But I made her laugh every now and then

If I could call in a favor – call in a favor
I’d bring her back home
If I could call in a favor – call in a favor to the Big Guy
I’d bring her back home

She wore a v-neck sweater with nothing on underneath
Just 18, drinking E&J with a fake ID
And she moved like the dancer that she was
And lit up like a sparkler
When the back-beat was good enough
If I could call in a favor – call in a favor
I’d bring her back home
If I could call in a favor on my bended knees
And I know I’m being heard
I would pray out loud in the middle of the night

Ain’t it strange how we open up our hearts
Then labor as a unified team
To blow them both apart
But that’s what we did and the rest just seems to fade
Like a row of distant mountains
Growing hazy as they roll away

I’D RATHER SMOKE BUTTS THAN KISS THEM (HOMELESS BOUND)

That’s my briefcase in the fire
The judgment of my boss
Did not inspire me all that much
So I left – just like that
I left my philodendron and a motivational plaque
And a fantasy of working hard enough
To buy a bunch of labor-saving stuff

Because I’d rather smoke butts than kiss them
I got a wife and kids but I doubt that I will miss them
I’m gonna pack up everything I own
And head on outta town
Say yeah – homeless bound

I walk, from town to town, when I ever gave a damn
The damages have always been profound
Then a midnight star, took a dive
It left a trail of white that amused me for a second
And was swallowed by the night
And I am like that shining lump
But lately, I’ve been way too shy to jump

Why me? Why me?
I’m so good looking and alone
But tell me, why me? Why can’t I be free
When I am home with my family
And doing what I’m supposed to?

My thoughts are rolling in a loop
I don’t know much, but Honey here’s the scoop

DIRT NAP

Baby – whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do, baby?
There were tears, tears on her rack
They were falling like rain with a pitter pat
Cause she said good bye, just get lost
Go kick rocks and never come back
I got wacko, nutso, cryin like a putzo
All those memories tearin’ at my guts, so
Good-bye lover girl, she was so hot
Armpit hair like a Muppet in a headlock
Looooove – oh, what a juggernaut
Spent two years tryin to find her G spot
I never got it done and I think it upset her
Though I found a couple spots with a different letter
Everything biffs it, everything croaks
Even love sometimes gives up the ghost
Hey – love sometimes gives up the ghost

Baby – whatcha gonna do?
Everybody has to take a dirt nap someday
I know this is true but there ain’t no need to hurry
Here is something you can do – Procrastinate!

I get crazy baby, I really go wild
Like a bird takin’ a poop on an artificial owl
I get bold like a ninja – Gunga Dinja
Ya better back away cause my heat’ll singe ya
With a fire lickin at your back
Like a nymphomaniac in a witch trial way back
Danger, I love it, baby what the hell
Drivin’ thru the neighborhood without my seatbelt
Then before ya know it I’m as timid as a mouse
Back at the house, pullin’ out and puttin’ on
Music – old Led Zeppelin
Turn it up loud and smell what they’re steppin’ in
Everything biffs it, everything croaks
Even dedicated bands give up the ghost

From baby blue to black
It’s just the way of the sky
Don’t get excited by the darkest days
Everything is changing, changing always
Always . . . always . . . all ways . .

Reaper Dude, dressed in black
All bummed out like you ran outta Prozac
You really don’t frighten me all that much
Unless it’s kinda dark then I’ll ralph on my Reboks
And I’ll be freakin’; my knees’ll be weakened
My heart’ll go bananas like I been tweakin’ and
I’ll take it to the max when I try to repent
For the words that I might have spoken
That I never really meant
Then I’ll say one more thing to my friend Mr. D
Please take anybody else but me
Hey, Please take anybody else but me

RETURN FROM OVERWHELM

It’s true, the sky is still kinda blue
Behind all the trees and the frost
But who cares when you’re lost – who cares?
What can be done?

Just lift yourself up, take the wheel
Rise above how you feel and move on

It’s midnight again, everyone else is asleep
But I’m all alone with some thoughts
That I can’t overcome
What can be done?

Just lift yourself up, take the wheel
Rise above how you feel and move on
Friendship is great
But sometimes it just slides away
I still have some friends that I love
Who no longer care
Who no longer care I’m afraid
What’s to be done?

Just lift yourself up, take the wheel
Rise above how you feel and move on

Lift yourself up, take the helm
And make that hard return from overwhelm

BLOW ME UP

Let me tell you ‘bout my baby
She’s even greater than the Great Houdini
She’s got a heart like Mother Teresa
But she looks a little better in a string bikini

Do I love her? Do I love that Northern Belle?
Do I love her? I love her so much I wanna slap myself
I got 400 miles to go before I’m with
My Lackawanna baby, so fine
And I’m gonna hold her tight
And tell her what’s on my mind
I’m just gonna say

Blow me.
Blow me up, I’m your love bomb
Come be by me and I’ll blow you outta the water
With my love

I was workin’ as a deep sea diver last year
But I wasn’t getting’ very many gigs
So I moved to Redondo, teachin’ Tai Kwando
Mmm – to a bunch of little kids
Do I love her?
Does she make my heart wanna burst?
Do I love her?
I love her even more than I did last verse
I got 200 miles to go before I’m with
The Lackawanna baby I love
And I’m gonna break it down
And tell her what I’m thinkin’ of

I’ve always been attractive
The mosquitoes and fleas sure like my style
I think I make them overactive
Like my animal nature makes ‘em just go wild

Do I love her?
Do I love her pretty little face?
Do I love her?
I love her so much I’m a basket case
I got 18 miles to go until I see
My sweet, Lackawanna fox
And I’m gonna lay it down
And tell her how much she rocks – oooh

I HOPE SHE STAYS

It’s a yellow world – the greens have gone to gold
And I’ve got me a real nice girl
She sure looks good when it’s cold outside

The sun is chillin’ out, the day is fallin’ apart
And it’s gonna be a real nice night
To walk with my baby
Maybe go down to the river by the dock or maybe not
I’ve got some Two-Buck Chuck


And an awful lot of stars I wanna show her
Before the sun comes up

The moon is like a pumpkin pie
Ridin’ on the top of the pines
And it’s throwin’ out a real nice light
That plays on the water
And illuminates the way my baby shines tonight
We’re in an old oak rowboat
Slidin’ through the shadows of the Carolina moonlight

And I hope – she plans on stayin’ forever
She’s the one who calms my crazy voices down
I’m gonna make that girl my number one endeavor
Cause she’s just so nice to have around

She’s like a wizard
Without the silly hat or the magic wand
But she’s got a lot of real nice magic
Underneath the sweater that she has on
And the river says, “Hey now, hey now,”
A light breeze says, “Pull her in closer now,”
And her eyes have a real nice way
Of pullin’ in starlight and pullin’ me right into her life
On a cool dark river where I’m fallin’ in love with a girl
Who shines like moonlight

ANYBODY’S GUESS

He was coming home from work
Drivin’ thru the rain
He’d never seen a cow get hit by lightning
But I gotta say – that, was all about to change
The poor thing lit up the night
And he watched it for a while
As he rolled on down the pike

Singin’ whoa whoa whoa – yes
Where we’re riding to is anybody’s guess
And even if you think you’re better than the rest
We’re riding altogether- ridin’ altogether

And then he joined the Army
Marching under desert skies
The new recruits had never killed before
But what a perfect day to try it on for size
They were headin’ to the show
Connected by the things they didn’t know

He met a pretty bowler from Ohio
She brought that lonely soldier to a boil
Her right arm was big and strong like Popeye
And her left was soft and smooth like Olive Oyl
He loved her from both sides of his heart
One side more like Gandhi
And one side more like Groucho Marx

LORA LEE

The key to every rain dance is always the same
You got to do it, on a night before it rains
Hey, hey! On a night before it rains

And we are hard-wired for the quick fix
Pedal to the metal, smoke in the cockpit, blind
With every body drivin’ down the very same line

Lora Lee, the world don’t made much sense to me
But at least you make it more fun
Oh Lora Lee, we all rattle our chains
And pretend that we are free
But you make it more fun
For everybody near you, baby

Becoming an adult was a big mistake
Same faux paux, my ma and my pa made
Hey – another big mistake

There’s way too many people – more every day
I know I shouldn’t kill them but I wish they’d go away
And we are blind
With everybody crowded in the very same line

KEEPERS OF THE BEAT

Azubeke is a drummer
He hammers out a heartbeat with his hands
People dance around him on the filthy street
They dance around him on the blazin’ sand
Oooh wah oooh

Azubeke moved to Lagos
Where some don’t have a thing or maybe less
Some will never have a chance in this life
Some will never have a chance in the next

Ooh, hey oh ay
Djembe drumming in the fading light
Souls on fire on an endless flight

Azubeke had a brother
Who hammered out a rhythm on his drums of clay
They played together by the cooking fires
While shadows swayed together in the haze
And then they starved in a hundred different ways
Hey oh ay
Restless message in the fading light
Souls on fire on an endless flight
Bare feet moving in the rising heat
God bless the keepers of the beat

They say the road to hell is paved
With good intentions by the ton
So what’ve the point of even trying to be good?
We’re gonna fry to the rhythm of the drums

Djembe drumming in the fading light
Souls on fire on an endless flight
Bare feet movin’ in the risin’ heat
God bless the keepers of the beat

JUST THE WAY I ROLL

Just like the moon above I’m freezing and I’m numb
While half of me is burning in the sun
But that’s just what I do – that’s just what I do

And though I’m guilty cause I know I have too much
I am resentful and afraid that I don’t have enough
That I don’t have enough

That’s just the way I roll
Getting all screwed up inside my head
I’m rolling through this world
Believing what I can, doubting all the rest
That’s the way I roll

They say forgiveness is the very best revenge
For all the women and the men – who bring us pain
But I would rather craft a hideous remark
One to haunt them in the dark
And make ‘em feel ashamed, make ‘em feel ashamed

That’s just the way I roll
Getting all screwed up inside my head
I’m rolling through the world
Believing what I can, doubting all the rest
That’s the way I roll

Cool down, honey, and come and roll into my heart
Cool down, honey, and come and roll into my heart
And so it seems
I am nostalgic for some things that never were
Or some things that should have been
Or maybe only happened in a dream

LIKE BONOBOS

She was a moonbat Democrat working at a Circle K
And he was a deer-dog, analog member of the NRA
And all they had in common was mortality and hope
But that’s a lot – a lot

She walked with a wiggle, there’s a wiggle in her walk
And that was what he liked
And so he came and got a Polar Pop
Most every single night
And always bought the
Homeless guys outside a cup of joe
Her heart went boom! Pow! Yo!
– – – now they’re like

Bonobos, those whacky chimpanzees
Diggin’ life with a digga digga do
And swinging thru the coconut trees
They’re animals – too in love – – animals!
That can’t get enough
And that’s the way it should be
Rubba, dubba, dubba dub dub
Bonobos, a woman & a man
With nothing in between them
But a heartbeat & an ampersand

Now, he had a brain like the mighty Diplodocus
And she had a new tattoo of roses on her knockers
And that yin-yang attraction did the rest
Sometimes the world says no, but love says yes

And so they moved to Alabama
To a mountain panorama
Where the living is kinda slow
And though they’re not a couple of Einsteins
They’re wise enough to know
That Lady Luck and Fate gave them an awesome start
That hooked them up – Pow!
And intertwined their hearts like two bonobos

My Sweet Blue Muse

I’m Santa’s little brother and I live up here in an igloo
I used to make music but I haven’t really been in the mood
I was Santa’s little busboy workin’ on his holiday plan
When my muse appeared – and we started up a band

There’s One-nut Willie on the skins and an elf named Chewy
He gets a little funny when he doesn’t take his meds
And Clubfoot Ray — he’s a reindeer wanted for murder
Cause every time he plays, he knocks ’em dead
And the muse says – La de da, ooh-ooh
La de dah, ah ahhhhh

She hit me with a song, a simple serenade
Muse: Merry Christmas, I’ll be everywhere you want me
And I’ll be watchin’ out for you
The night wind played along and blew me away
Muse: Merry Christmas
It’s gonna be an upbeat, backbeat Christmas with the caribou
And my Sweet Blue Muse

When Santa found out about the muse and the bluesy music
He chuckled to himself and began to dance
He’s an old school cat With the wacky red hat and the work boots
But he knows how to help a brother out
And that’s the truth – La de da, ooh-ooh
La de dah, ah ahhhhh

She Could Turn The Rain Into Snow

It’s a rainy Christmas Eve in my Appalachian cabin
I don’t know what is worse – what has or hasn’t happened
And the wind outside ain’t all that seems to blow, ya know?
Cause I miss her- she could turn the rain into snow

Another broken heart – another self-help intervention
I’m gonna sublimate and meditate and ease my inner tension
And then I’ll turn my wounds to wisdom
As my self-awareness grows
But I miss her- she could turn the rain into snow

Oooh, what a good-bye-It took us half the evening
Oooh, what a good-bye – Too bad she wrecked it all by leaving
And then I cried myself to sleep beneath my faux mistletoe
And I missed her
She could’ve have turned my teardrops into snow

Come back – baby come back, come back — it was all my fault
Say what? What’s that sound? I heard a -knock knock knock!
at my Appalachian cabin

Knock knock knock! Who’s there?
It’s me – a rappa tappa tappin’
When I look outside the world is sugar white everywhere
And there’s my baby on the front porch with all those crazy
snowflakes in her hair

I just dropped by to wish you Merry Christmas
I just dropped by just thought I’d drop by
I just dropped by to wish you Merry Christmas
I just dropped by just thought I’d drop by

I'm Gonna Drink Until It Feels Like Christmas

I’m gonna drink, drink until it feels like Christmas
I’m gonna think, think about the way it used to be
Yuletide means a high tide of teardrops by the tree
I’m in prison – since she set me free

I wish I’d met her sooner – I’d be over her by now
Instead of weepin’ in the fetal position every day
My heart is a clown car of broken dreams tonight
And now she’s ho ho ho’in’ in the new old-fashioned way
I’m gonna drink…

She was like a cat – an awful lot like an ocelot
And she never really gave – but man could she receive
But now she’s gone – and I’m face down on my front lawn
Like reindeer scat on Christmas Eve

I don’t wanna rum cake puddin’ or eggnog by the cup
Cause they don’t get me bombed – bombed enough

She voted with her feet and now I’m feelin’ pretty obsolete
Like Hamburger Helper – without any meat
I’m gonna drink…

The Night She Put The No Into Noel

She was my dusty rose, she’d always been my secret sauce
Soft as a drift of snow in her Santa Claus pajamas
My gifts were wrapped in a colorful stack and she acted As if I still mattered
Now if love is a teacher, she went ahead and rang the bell
The night my baby put the no, no, no, no, no into Noel

I heard the wind strum a chord
A ghost of coldness rose up from the floor
They say the devil was an angel who got greedy
And demanded something more
It’s easy to spill out the truth when you no longer care
She said she found somebody better
Now if love is like heaven
She pushed me and I fell
The night my baby put the no, no, no, no, no into Noel

My dreams formed a circle
And they kinda slid on down the drain
I walked her to her car She smelled just a bit like a candy cane
My dreams faded away into nothin’ but a holly-jolly migraine
Now if love is a fighter, you’d have to say she rang my bell
The night my baby put the no, no, no, no, no – into Noel

I’m beginning to think that she loved the illusion of love more than she ever loved me
Now if love is a fire–she used to bring me to a boil
I wouldn’t have missed it for the world
That brief love spell before she put the no- into Noel

Merry Christmas, Eve

It was a cool night on the bad side of Eden
The sky was still brand new
And it was sweet to be with Eve
Even though last week she had a little incident
With You-Know-Who
Ain’t no big thing, that’s okay
She’s my baby-everybody makes mistakes
Hey-ey! Ain’t no big thing – everybody makes mistakes
So why not celebrate?

Merry Christmas to the animals I’ve been a little busy and I haven’t named them all
Merry Christmas to the critters in the trees
But most of all everybody, Merry Christmas, Eve

We live in a tree house 40 feet high
Bundled up together as the snow is blowing by
It sure gets cold when you disobey
The roof is leaking as our eucalyptus sways
Ain’t no big thing, that’s okay
We’re both new here – everybody makes mistakes
Hey Hey! Ain’t no big thing – everybody makes mistakes
So why not just say…